Thursday, August 30, 2007
♥ 5:25 PM
Sugar, spice and all things nice
Caught Ratatouille with my lil' sister this afternoon after school, and it was perfection.
Never has an animated movie enthralled me so. It was fun, flirty and oh-so-funny. That it was set in the capital of romance (girls sigh with me) kinda helped as well.
Here's a shot of the "Little Chef" whom I am incredibly enamoured of.
I guess it's true when they say that girls are simply unable to resist a man who is an excellent cook and isn't too shy to embrace this wonderful gift.
What struck me during the movie was how the mean, cynical (and possibly lonely) food critic Ego and his sky-high expectations were won over by Ratatouille - whipped up single-handedly by Remy the talented rat.
There's the uppity Ego for you. Scary stuff.
Anyway for the uninitiated, Ratatouille is a simple vegetable stew originally created by poor farmers to fill their rumbling tummies. It is no delicacy. In fact, one can expect the snobbish to turn their noses up at the very sight of such obscene, peasant fare pictured below.
The same goes for romance - in my case, that is.It is certainly not the expensive bouquets of flowers, extravagant meals or pricey presents that are desired; although admittedly they would be nice to have. More often than not, the "homely" attributes, the old and familiar, are treasured far more than the luxuries which money can buy.
Flowers act as the perfect accessory to go along with that exquisite dinner date, but they cannot replace the welcoming warmth of a lover's embrace.
Gifts bring about a temporal sense of bliss, but have not the permanence of beautiful memories created by those long walks and intimate conversations.
Sadly, simplicity in its purest form is frequently regarded as a poor cousin to those exaggerated outward displays of ardour and passion.
For me, a wholesome stew of TLC sprinkled with warm embraces and a dash of ye olde gallantry, garnished with that little sprig of tasteful humour will constitute the most satisfying of meals.
I guess there is that bit of a sappy romantic, even in the most skeptical of girls.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Sunday, August 26, 2007
♥ 8:24 PM
Heart of worship
The first week of school has been tough, in more ways than one.
I plunged headfirst into the familiar, icy pool of nameless faces carrying an excruciatingly heavy load and a tired spirit along with me.
The acute feeling of loneliness - perhaps even alienation - and the ache in my weary soul clawed viciously, chipping away, bit by bit, what little joy I had left when I made my return to the impersonal environment which I have called school for the past 3-and-a-half years.
The strain of having to keep up with appearances asphyxiates. I smile, but there is no happiness. I laugh, but it is hollow, fake, forced.
Have you noticed? Do you even care?
I am...standing on the outside. Looking in.
I am...surrounded by a whole army of people. And I feel the stinging coldness of loneliness.
I am...so caught up with my work once again. With no finishing line in sight.
I am...trying so very hard. Yet my efforts are mocked, disregarded, overlooked.
I am...so very afraid of the darkness. But I know I'm never alone.
The Voice of truth tells me a different story.
The Voice of truth, says do not be afraid.
And it is time to take out the trash. To get rid of the dead weight in my life. This process always hurts me tremendously, but it has to be done.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I will choose to listen and believe...the Voice of truth.
Thank You. For not giving up, for not giving in, for just being You.
You Lord, only You.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Saturday, August 25, 2007
♥ 11:49 PM
Reunion
Met my bestest bestest gal pals this afternoon for a FANTASTIC time of catching up.
I miss them so very much already...can't wait for Friday to come!
Ok, so we're missing my lao gong Jan and my gal Dawn but it was really good anyway.
Next year would mark our 10th anniversary as a clique. Seems like only yesterday that a bunch of us from 1 Faith came together and decided to become gal pals.
So, we talked about school, life, and.....boys. Or the lack of them in our lives.
It has been some time since I've given it much thought, but today's conversation brought to mind my expectations when looking for a life partner once more.
Well, God has certainly been at work, and it's amazing how my perspectives have altered.
Without much ado, here's my updated list:
1. Mr S has gotta be a God-lovin', God-fearin' Christian
2. Mr S's calling and mine's gotta be compatible and complementary
3. Mr S should be able to provide well for the family
4. Mr S shouldn't smoke, drink, club, womanise, gamble, swear
5. Mr S's gotta be a nice papa to his lil' tykes
6. Mr S should be a good steward of the Lord
7. Mr S's gotta have Daddy's big red stamp of approval
Hmmz...guess that's about it for now.
If I do conjure up more, I'll alter the list accordingly.
On another note, it's been a tough week; the term ahead seems so very long, so very daunting.
There're things to be surendered, but I've not the strength left.
Not even to cry.
I need You so much Daddy.
Please help me.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
♥ 3:04 PM
Settling down...
After many changes of my fickle heart, my timetable for my very last term at SMU has finally been well and truly settled, and here's what it looks like:
Monday
0830-1145: Negotiation & Conflict Resolution
1530-1645: Public Administration & Management
Thursday
0830-1145: Company Law (just shoot me now)
After 6 semesters of taking on full loads - plus 2 summer terms last year - it is time to take things a little easier.
On another note, my future's more or less been decided and the relevant application will be sent in by next week after I complete consolidating whatever information which needs to be presented.
Instead of participating in the rat race many of my ambitious peers eagerly plunge themselves into upon graduation, I have eventually opted to take the road a little less travelled.
It is an extremely petrifying step of faith I am taking, but I do relish the challenges that will come my way, knowing that where God guides me, there He will provide also.
"By faith, Abraham, when called to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."
~Hebrews 11:8
Thank You.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Sunday, August 19, 2007
♥ 10:04 PM
You said
You said
Ask and you will receive
Whatever you need
You said
Pray and I'll hear from heaven
And I'll heal your land
You said
Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea
You said
Lift up your eyes
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near
You said
Ask and I'll give the nations to you
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us
O Lord, I ask for the nations
I must have been about 14 when this song was first introduced to me, but 10 years down the road, this still remains a favourite.
He remains faithful, even when we are faithless.
He shows mercy and grace, when we exhibit selfishness and cruelty.
He loves, when we remain stubbornly unlovable.
Just for you, and for me, He came, He loved, and He chose the nails.
You Lord. You alone.
I miss you already.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Saturday, August 18, 2007
♥ 11:44 PM
The elusive Mr S
My mum made an offhand comment this afternoon which bothered me more than it should.
"How come you don't like any guys?"
In accented Singlish no less.
At 22 (and turning 23 rather soon), it seems a trifle odd that I've never really considered the possibility of settling down with anyone, yet the desire to be a young wife and a mother remains strong.
I crave commitment from that unknown him, yet am afraid to offer the same precious gift.
A contradiction. How typical of me.
Maybe the saying that one will never be ready till the "right one" comes along is right after all.
Than again how can the "right one" ever be clearly defined?
Whatever the case, I know that my prayers have been heard, that Daddy has my best interests at heart, that when I follow Him, He will surely provide.
Till that day arrives, when Daddy deigns to bring Mr S to me, I will rest.
Not wait. Rest.
"The eyes of all look to You,
and You give them their
food at the proper time.
You open Your hand
and satisfy the desires of
every living thing."
Psalm 145:15-16
My prayer is simply this: not for you to be with me but for you to be found in Him, and to find that joy which seems ever-so-unreachable.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Thursday, August 16, 2007
♥ 9:27 AM
Falling into the gap
Yes, I am finally on FaceBook.
Up till yesterday evening, my knowledge of Friendster, FaceBook and the like was limited to this: the whole seems to be a part of it; I however, am not, and have no intention to be.
Thanks to Mr. Aloy and my dear lil' sister - who joined forces and signed me up while I sat on the floor, whining in protest - I am now the proud new owner of a myriad of interesting tools which I can gainfully employ in a bid to connect with my friends.
Thus far I've left graffiti on 3 walls, had sheep thrown at me, and found some long-lost friends.
Guess this whole FaceBook "thingy" isn't so bad after all.
Oh yes, another school term begins on Monday, marking the beginning of the end of my (ahem) illustrious academic career at SMU.
And, alas, it is also time for hapless companies to be harrassed by my resume as I attempt to land myself a job - my baby Adonis needs to be fed amongst other things - before graduating this December.
For now, it's back to completing my Company Law readings.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Sunday, August 12, 2007
♥ 11:05 PM
Making a difference
Service on Saturday was fantastic.
It is time for a new beginning.
It is time for change - and I mean change.
Can you feel the earth move underneath our feet? I sure can.
But it was more than the wonderful worship and powerful sermon.
Glenn's simple act of praying for me during that evening's altar call and our subsequent chat later on after we've filled our bellies with food from (gasp!) McDonald's brought to me a brand new conviction - and I really thank the good Lord so very much for him.
We might be wretched, but in Him and through His sacrifice, we will be made co-heirs with Christ; we are forgiven, and we are accepted.
As I prayed for this pal of mine, the tears which flowed bear testament to how I have been changed this past year or so; the gentle voice of the Father speaking to His daughter had never been clearer.
I will press on, and fight the good fight.
Just for Him who chose the nails.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
♥ 1:39 PM
The choice
More than a year ago, I traded in this...
And this...
Not to mention them...
To devote myself fully to this...
The decision was a tough one, but I've absolutely no regrets.
The friends my good Lord has blessed me with since, the newfound passion I've garnered from serving in my ministries actively, and the deeper intimacy which I now share with Him are priceless.
Given another choice, I would have done the same.
Having said that, here's a BIG BIG BIG shoutout to our team's beloved Captain Mac: let's Subway together again when school starts! =)
Just for the fun of it, here's presenting 2006's Pesta Sukan Team (Ladies' Epee, SMU Fencing Club)...
"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."
~2 Corinthians 9:7
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Sunday, August 05, 2007
♥ 10:24 PM
Recollections
Those wonderful girls took home the bronze at Pesta Sukan this year.
As I read that entry on the club's blog, memories of the fun I once shared with them just flooded my senses.
Not too long ago, I was one of them.
Competition after competition. That's what being on the first team meant.
Donning school colours while standing on the piste meant that we could not give anything less than our very best.
Together with my best girls - Elaine, Hanwen, Claire, Sophie, Fengling - the team took home the bronze and silver medals in Team Novices (Ladies' Epee) in 2005 and 2006 respectively.
Perspiring profusely after our bouts, snacking on chocolate bars and bananas, roaming around Clementi in our breeches while waiting for our events to begin; thinking about these things still make me smile.
2 formal trainings a week with Coach prior to competitions, 2 evenings of free fencing and another session on Sunday mornings, 1 weekly physical training; for a while there, I lived and breathed this beautifully graceful sport.
The subsequent suppers which seemed to last forever, the movie marathons, the gatherings at CY's place (I fondly remember his mother investing a few dollars in me during my first attempt at real gambling), the absolute randomness of our conversations; boy do I miss my teammates.
The exquisite FIE blade, glove, chest-plate, plastron, jacket, breeches, helmet, cable, long white socks, my Prince court shoes, Adidas water-bottle, Nike duffel bag - my faithful companions at competitions.
That was then.
A week ago, I stumbled upon my beloved jacket and breeches while clearing my wardrobe, and the urge to put them on and to step onto the piste again was overwhelming.
The chat with CY later on in the week (ok, you're soooo nice for saying hi =P)and Claire's poignant post only served to fuel those flames even more.
Looking back, I would not have traded this experience for anything.
Now, although the desire to pick up my blade again and return to the sport has been aroused and awakened, I know that my Beloved comes first.
His battles are the ones I need to fight.
His calls are the only ones I want to heed.
He gave me a choice; I made that decision over a year ago, and there is no turning back.
I will continue to run the race for Him - the only One who matters; the One who chose the nails.
Your face, O Lord, is the only one I will look upon.
"...My grace is sufficent for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
~2 Corinthians 12:9
I need You so very much.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, August 03, 2007
♥ 11:05 PM
Quoting Tennyson
Half the night I waste in sighs,
Half in dreams I sorrow after
The delight of early skies;
In a wakeful doze I sorrow
For the hand, the lips, the eyes,
For the meeting of the morrow
The delight of happy laughter,
The delight of low replies.
~Maud
So very beautiful; so very painful.
I like =)
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
♥ 10:57 PM
Thank You
Cell meeting tonight was beyond awesome; it was so good to see all those lovely, familiar faces again after about a month.
I thank God for each and every one of the people in my cell.
I praise Him for bestowing His favour upon TNG.
I love my Lord because He is who He says He is.
Truly, like I shared with Rachel, the joy of the Lord is our strength.
"...Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
~Nehemiah 8:10
I give you all the glory and all the praise my Saviour King.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*