Year 2, Term 1, Week 2

First day of the second week of school. I could barely keep my eyes open during TWC class, much less contribute to the discussion today. Somehow, the topic of computers and so on does not appeal to me at all.

Thank God for the meeting with Carol today. Seeing her for the first time in ages means that we had soooo much to talk about. From boys to underwear to school, you name it, we've talked about it. I cannot wait for our shopping trip next week. *smile*

I have an 8.30 am class tmr *frowns* which indicates that I would have to rouse myself somewhat earlier than I would like. No matter, I would march into class with a smile on my face and try to make the most of the lesson.

Knowing me,despite mustering up all my resolve, it would be 5 minutes into the lesson when I start to drift off and begin to day dream of my "Prince Charles" as CY puts it.

Heck, I like my own little fairy tale and no cynic would be able to take that away from me.







Pesta Sukan

I am disgusted with myself. Did not put my heart into fencing at all today during competition. I have let myself down. I have let my team down. Thank God for Claire who rose up to the challenge and took my place.

We ended up being placed 4th but that's nothing to be ashamed about.

No matter, Serene will train harder from now on.

The guys fenced yesterday and we headed for Settler's later on that night, before going to CY's place so that he could give me a lift home. Huh? Yea, my point exactly.

Anyway had a really good conversation with the fencers, especially Claire. Now she knows my little secret. *GRIN* Love is never easy girl, so please respect my decision. I know I shocked you during dinner by making that announcement. Heck, I shocked even myself.

Ah don't you just love the irrationality of human behaviour of life at times?







A most disobedient heart...

Something's wrong with blogger (not again!) and I find myself being unable to bold and italicise the title of this post. No matter, let's press on.

Free fencing last night went pretty ok, though I did fall and bruise my knee pretty badly. Although I felt that I did not put in effort into my fencing, I did gain something from last night - a newfound respect for some of my fellow fencers.

The gratitude I felt upon receiving their outpouring of support following my revelation that I'm going through a rough patch moved me to tears. Never did I expect them to readily stand by me. In short, I thought that I was meant to battle this alone. Thanks guys, you are all awesome.

Met Charlene today after my meeting in school and we had a good long chat - 3 hours to be exact - which revealed a lot to me.

Seven years of friendship means that you have somebody who knows you inside out. Someone whom you can trust. Someone whom you know is going to be brutally honest with you. Thank God for providing me with friends like Char, Dawn, Su, Jan, Mary and Cheryl. You girls have been with me through thick and thin, and it has been marvellously knowing all of you.

What was discussed with Char today brought to mind a lot of issues I have hapily left to fester and now, it's time to clean up my life. Time for a revamp. Time to move on. Time to grow up.

For once, I need to be brave. For the first time, I need to be cruel. I don't want to have to do this, but I am left with no choice.







So many questions

Yes I'm blogging again. Bear with me.

Everything which happened today seems so surreal, even after I've showered, eaten and slacked.

I feel like I'm enveloped by this beautiful mist and I don't want it to ever clear.

I love every second spent with you, even if we're doing nothing. Silence can be so wonderful when you're with the right person.

Sinful. Damaging. Destructive. I know.

But I cannot help the way I feel.

Shoots now I sound really pathetic.







A fresh new beginning

Yesterday marked the first day of school after a long long 4 month break.

As I was preparing for school, I was filled with enthusiasm and excitement. I walked towards my first class with a hop in my step and a smile on my face.

However, this quickly changed throughout the day and I was totally drained at the end of it.

This affected training, and it upset me. I had been looking forward to training and school ruined the whole experience for me.

No matter, competition's on this Sunday and boy am I going to fence my best.







Fencing Masters Summer

Was at coach's place today for some friendly fencing competition with people from FM.

I thank God for the feats I accomplished today. Without Him, this would not have been possible. Thank God.

After round robin, I was the 2nd seed, which is way beyond what I thought I could manage.

Although the quarters saw me losing to Yvonne, I was thankful enough to be given this golden opportunity to hone my fencing skills.

Ah, how I love fencing oh-so-much.







IHATCOY

To know what the acronym means - and we all know how much Singaporeans lurvve acronyms - check out The Teenage Textbook written by Adrian Lim. I absolutely adore that book. Funny, witty, real. The way a good book oughtta be!

Convocation 2005 took place today and thanks to mummy's insistence I tagged along. All dressed up. Well, let me just say that it's well worth the effort.

Saw him during the event and boy did he look gorgeous. *smile* It's most unlike me to be rendered speechless around guys but there you have it.

Let's see...

I love your smile, and the way you carry yourself oh-so-confidently.

Your soothing voice is just the think I need to wake me up in the mornings.

If only you knew how truly infectious your cheerful personality is.

How you did manage to maintain that air of innocence impresses me to no end.

Ah, I just like you so much the way you are.

I am officially gushing. *shudders*







Ophelia Drowning

Just had to name this post after one of the most hauntingly beautiful painting I have ever seen in my 20 going on 21 years on this planet we call earth.

There's just something about the way she looks which captivated me right from the time I first spied her when I was 17. Her peaceful, chilling smile makes this death scene almost surreal. Dying apparently brings her so much joy, instead of fear and trepidation.

I am so in love with this lovely piece of art.

Moving on, had a wonderful conversation with my father, with him suggesting that I request for a ride from a friend to the airport tomorrow. Is my dad actually encouraging me to woo a man? Yikes.

Bemused, I announced that I am an independent new age girl who can drive herself anywhere in her little blue car and ended the topic. Boy must my parents be really worried about me.

When I mentioned going to Switzerland on exchange, my dad commented that with a boyfriend around to take care of me, things would be rosier. All this while I was enjoying my dinner.

Oh well, nothing will come between me and my food. You all know that didn't you? *grin*

Dad: "blah blah blah boyfriend blah blah blah..."

Me: "mmm....could we have another orange?"

Urgh, come to think of it, I just might know why I have been piling on the kilos steadily these past few months.

I need discipline.







That's inconceivable.

A term made popular by those who turned up for movie night at Hanwen's place. *smiles*

Every night, I go to sleep hugging my almost 10-yr-old bolster which is so filthy that even I am sometimes disgusted by it. It's about a hundred million years old but I'm so in love with it.

The same theory can be applied to relationship pathology. Why do women remain in relationships which are so obviously falling apart?

Simple - we crave stability and security. Look at it this way: would you die without your man? Are you truly truly 100% happy with him?

See my point? We have come to a point whereby we are starting to settle and this, though not wrong, is nothing to crow about either.

Just like my precious bolster, we want him around even though he's dirty and gives us pimples (my bolster, not those toxic guys), because from it, we feel a sense of calm and completion.

Am I about to settle? I do hope not. For now, I am more than contented with my tatty old bolster.

How ironic.







What to do...?

I'm turning 21 soon - next January to be exact - and yet, I feel more juvenile than before.

Crushes should be made illegal to girls of my advanced years. The furtive glances, the smiles which involuntarily light up my face when we interact, the pounding of my heart when he's near. Sheesh, it cannot be good for my image.

Who's he? Well, that's going to be my little secret for the time being *smiles*

Ok, just to orientate myself once more, there's work to be done for the fencing clinic before school starts. So STOP procrastinating girl!

Well...maybe - just maybe - there's enough time for me to slip down to Tangs for a spot of shopping before school reopens in less than 2 weeks' time.

Ah, shopping and girls.







40 years of greatness

Tomorrow marks 40 years of independence for Singapore, and I could not be prouder to be part of the National Day Parade this year.

I know many have grouses and complaints about how screwed up life in Singapore is, but think about it: do we have a good reason for being unhappy?

Would we be able to enjoy the infrastructure we currently take for granted should we be born elsewhere in Asia?

Would we have ample opportunities to pursue a decent education?

Would life be as secure?

Think about it.

Then maybe you would feel more thankful to be as blessed as you are to be born a Singaporean.

Meanwhile, here's to 40 years of excellence. *CHEERS*







Confusion

Many conflicting emotions are coursing through my veins, making me irritable and sleepy - have not been resting enough this past week.

How is it that you can care so much about a person, yet the prospect of seeing him feels you with apprehension, causing one to just want to run away and hide?

Endearing though his face may be, I cannot stand to look into his eyes. It makes me nervous.

Now I'm beginning to sound juvenile. This is just so great.

Urgh. There's nothing I can do now anyway. This is frustrating.

On a (MUCH) happier note, this girl went shopping yesterday and came back with a gorgeous charcoal grey blazer, weird slacks she regrets buying, a fantabulous corset top as well as a pair of (what else?) shoes!

I really need to start budgetting and stop over-spending. This is simply unhealthy for my bank account.

Then again, which girl would say no to that new pair of heels, or that smashingly cute top?

Sigh. The perils of being a girl.







Nerves

Earlier this week, I recieved a mail from NYC, informing me that I, alongside 6 others from my school, have been chosen to attend this year's PM dialogue with young Singaporeans.

Elated at first, I quickly became rather apprehensive.

For starters, I do not want to make a fool of myself in front of the leader of our government. For another, the magnitude of this event is overwhelming me.

To some who possess all the self-confidence in the world, this may not seem like such big a deal but to someone like myself, the prospect of having to look and sound intelligent in front of many other talented youths scares me.

Whatever the case, I will go with an open mind.

Thank the Lord for gifting me with such a golden opportunity.

Now if only I knew what to wear...







Sorry

This is to the person whom I embarrassed yesterday: I am sorry. He'll probably never gain access to my blog but I have to say this.

It wasn't well done of me - however upset I was - to publicly throw a hissy fit which caused much discomfort to the both of us.

It was wrong of me to spurn your apologies and efforts to brush you off when you tried to make reparations.

Not many people are able to put up with me when I get into one of my moods. Just for that, I have to applaud him, even give him a standing ovation.

Just for doing that, I love him even more.

Admitting that i'm wrong has never been easy for me. Thank the Lord for guiding me towards this huge step I had to take; to humble myself and to say "I'm sorry".

That just shows how special he truly is in my eyes.

If only he knew.

The rants, the raves, the lady herself


22 going on 23-year-old Trinitarian
A fresh SMU graduate on a job-hunt
Zips around in a pretty red Civic


God, family, friends =)


Chick lit
Chick flicks
Good Korean drama serials =)

Sharon
Janise
Glenn
Kevin
Claire
Hanwen
Elaine
Pei
Michelle
Lizzie
Leonard
Aloysius
Clement
Jon Choy
Blogskins
Blogger

designer: FILLINTHEBLANKS
image: foto decadent
brushes: 1 2 3
image hosting: imageshack
fonts: dafont Fonts for peas
edited in adobe photoshop cs3



11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009