Tuesday, July 31, 2007
♥ 9:29 PM
I've decided
I've been praying, and thinking, and then praying over and over again.
It is difficult, but I've let you go.
Let the past remain there; let it not hinder us anymore.
I've my path to go down, my battles to fight for the Lord, and you have yours.
Just as I've surrendered all this to Him who loves us, I pray that you will opt to do the same.
And after all that's been done, I pray even more that you will forgive me.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Monday, July 30, 2007
♥ 9:57 PM
When there was you and me
Caught High School Musical on television last night and it was surprisingly entertaining.
The leads were really well-cast and Zac Efron (Troy Bolton) is simply cuteness wrapped up in a handsome little box.
When Troy attempted to win Gabriella's forgiveness by climbing onto her balcony in order to seranade her with his sweet voice, it was all I could do not to dissolve into a little puddle right in the middle of my bedroom.
Even more shocking was the idea that a mindless flick targetting a teenaged audience managed to coax the pensive me out of her comfortable shell.
At the end of the day though, I trust that my Daddy will heal, and in His perfect timing, everything will be made right.
For now, I surrender all these unwanted feelings to Him.
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, July 27, 2007
♥ 12:07 PM
Change
It was wonderful catching up with my fellow leaders last night during our monthly meeting-cum-farewell for Pastor B.
The fellowship, the aching familiarity served to mark yesterday night's gathering a poignantly unforgettable one.
Oh yes, Mr Sunshine's enthusiastic greeting made it all the more special; didn't realise exactly how much he has been missed by me until I saw him and his cute megawatt smile =)
On a slightly different note, the season of change has come; new challenges have been sent my way, and for the first time this morning, I accepted the Lord's call.
The destination remains unknown, but by faith I will begin this journey, although for now, He has called me to wait. To be patient, and to just wait.
Also received an exciting word from Him this morning, but that's for another time =)
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed...."
Isaiah 54:10
Thank You so very very much.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
♥ 11:27 PM
Far Away
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know,
You know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
These lyrics got me thinking.
About things then and now.
About things I shouldn't be thinking about.
About how all this is just a big, fat, stupid farce.
A meaningless fantasy. That is what it is.
And I will wait no longer.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Saturday, July 21, 2007
♥ 11:14 PM
Aftermath
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God...
~1 Corinthians 10:31-32
I'm so sorry Daddy.
I've failed You yet again.
Please forgive me.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
♥ 9:47 PM
No ifs, no buts
As graduation gradually creeps up on me, the reality of my need to come to a decision on my chosen path is becoming errily clear.
This afternoon's meeting with Uncle Jeff brought to mind even more questions to think and more importantly, to pray about.
I am excited about the arrangements which he has in mind for me but at the same time, there is an urge to run away into my little corner and to surround myself with all things sweet and nice.
Being a deep thinker has its advantages, but in my case, it may well hamper me from giving my best and my absolute all to my Saviour King.
In any case, no one ever said that growing up is going to be a fun walk in the lovely park after all.
These past few weeks have been rather humbling ones, as Daddy begins revealing to me truths which would prove my biased assumptions wrong. Things about my life, things about people; my myopic view of the world in comparison to His infinite wisdom has created a welcoming discomfort.
Oh yes, visited Brewerkz today with my sister and 2 of the "Brothers Sim", and boy was the chow good. For $20 a person, we downed 3 pints of beer (well, I took a few delicate sips), a burger with 2 juicy beef patties accompanied by fantastic fries and onion rings, a seafood pizza which was yummilicious, and a BBQ combi which consisted of a chicken thigh , rather tender ribs as well as authentic (!) mashed potatoes complete with brown sauce.
Random pictures were taken, but those I shall save for another day =)
For now, it's back to entertaining those nagging thoughts.
"To man belong the
plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the
reply of the tongue."
~Proverbs 16:1
The impossibility of this whole situation frustrates me, but thinking about you and your silly antics still holds the ability to bring a smile to my face.
It's decadent, and even wrong, but I just can't seem to help myself.
If only you knew....just how much you really mean to me.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Sunday, July 15, 2007
♥ 10:14 PM
Indulgence
Booked my new car today (thanks so so much daddy and mummy!) and for some strange reason which I've yet to discover, I picked a red one. The red one.
The name of the colour?
Tango Red Pearl.
On my new baby, the rather sultry colour just looks and feels totally right.
Just as any proud momma would be eager to show her perfect baby off, I am pleased to announce the impending arrival of my new sweetheart with this picture which does not do him (yes, my cars are always male) any justice at all.
In case you're still wondering, my hunk's a 1.8-litre, 140bhp Honda Civic with beige leather interior. To lessen the grief of those other few special people who will be driving my car, I got mine in an automatic version this time around.
In case you're still wondering, my hunk's a 1.8-litre, 140bhp Honda Civic with beige leather interior. To lessen the grief of those other few special people who will be driving my car, I got mine in an automatic version this time around. Here's another preview of what my baby will look like...
Isn't he an irresistible beauty? 
Talk about having inner beauty =)
On another radically different note, I received a call from my aunt tonight which added to my already immense joy: my grandmother has finally consented to attend baptism classes commencing this Wednesday.
After months of prayer and numerous sharings, her willingness to finally open her heart to our Almight Saviour and Lord is enough to bring all of us interceding for her to our knees.
Our Saviour King is indeed magnificent, and His wonderous love, indescribable.
I'm left speechless at His grace, His great love, and His boundless benevolence.
Oh yes, I will be meeting Uncle Jeff - our new youth director - for dinner on Wednesday and it fills me with great excitement to be able to share with him my visions and my hopes for the future life which I want to life for Him and Him alone.
The journey is long, and I know not how I will be able to reach my destination amidst all the looming obstacles, but still will I choose to heed the voice of my Shepherd.
~I give my life to honour this
The love of Christ, the Saviour King
The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away,
but God be willing, I wish for you to be there;
that all the way, by my side you'll stay
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, July 13, 2007
♥ 8:10 PM
Sydney!
The trip was nothing short of perfect, and I'll let these few pictures speak for themselves =)
And no Mr Sunshine Sim, I do NOT resemble Dot in any way... *cringes*
The trip was nothing short of perfect, and I'll let these few pictures speak for themselves =)
And no Mr Sunshine Sim, I do NOT resemble Dot in any way... *cringes*
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
♥ 9:41 AM
Sometimes....
Got back from Sydney, and it was AWESOME!
When Zhon Yun said that the Hillsong Conference experience will be a life-changing one, she sure meant it.
That aside, the company was excellent, and I had so much fun =)
The excellent food, the exciting train-rides, the long shopping trips, the absolute nonsense; these memories will be etched into that special place in my heart for good.
Pictures will come later as soon as I get down to loading them into my laptop. In the meantime, check out Clement's blog for some of the photos we took.
Oh by the way, you are sooooo dead Mr Clement Sim =P wait till I get my hands on you. *giggles and whips out TEN wriggly fingers*
Spoke to Kevin on the phone yesterday and the conversation induced a state of pensiveness which still pervades my senses one day on.
To answer Kevin's question, yes, I do wish for someone by my side to share my successes, happiness and sadness with at times.
At our age, this issue seems to hit us hard left, right and center everywhere we go.
Perhaps, it may be better to open my heart and allow love to take me in, rather than live with the painful regrets which will come later on.
Maybe, "I love you" can come too late.
Sometimes, the temptation to just take a bite of that lucious fruit of love can overwhelm.
Sometimes, the desire to run and hide from my feelings threatens to overpower my rationality.
Sometimes, I wish I could just put my reservations aside and to express myself emotionally that much better.
Ultimately though, my call is to follow Daddy, and the time is now to serve Him with all that I have and all that I am =)
Thanks Kevin for causing this sense of utter emo-ness to well up inside of me =P I can't wait for the little chat we will be having later on today.
Sometimes, I just want to lean in close and whisper those sweet little words into your ear.
I want to, but I can't.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*