Tuesday, June 28, 2005
♥ 12:09 PM
Honour. Grace. Perfection.
Okay people, just for the record, I do not hail from an abusive family. Neither do I have a gangster for a boyfriend.
The bruises and cuts you see on my body are purely injuries sustained during fencing.
You can only imagine the stares and knowing looks I have been getting from strangers when I step out of my home in shorts and t-shirt. It's making me really uncomfortable.
Having said that, let's trudge on to another issue: people who love doing a disappearing act.
I received an SMS from a friend whom I thought I would never hear from again, asking me out for a drink or two.
Now, I have no problems with being asked out, but I have an issue with people trying to worm their way into my life again after conveniently dropping out of the radar whenever it pleases them.
When is it ever ok to pretend that you still care when you don't? I am not stupid. Don't think that I am going to drop everything I have on my hands just to run to you.
My friends know how you've messed up my life previously.
I am not letting you jerk me around ever again. This time, we'll play by my rules.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, June 24, 2005
♥ 3:45 PM
Something's dogging me
My dad took half a day off work yesterday afternoon. Hence came the much-needed respite I desperately hankered after from solitude.
We trawled the eastern part of the island, including the part of Tampines which we once resided oh so very long ago.
It was refreshing to see how, while many of the shops I knew and loved were gone, the general structure of the town centre remains unblemished by the unforgiving ravishment of time - 13 years to be exact.
I felt a sense of clam permeating my senses as I retraced the paths which have, until yesterday, been confined to my childhood memories. How I miss the Sunday mornings where my father would take my sister and I on a long walk to buy breakfast from our favourite hawker stalls. How I long to once again taste the waffles we used to devour during our evening walks.
Another stop which brought back a rush of memories would be Pet Safari, where we first set eyes upon Kiki. The pain which assailed my senses upon the recollection of how we excitedly procured her and brought her home was almost unbearable. Those sparkly eyes which I would never again look into still haunts me whenever I think about her.
I miss her so.
It was then that I spotted her. Those vulnerable eyes captured me. There was an instant connection as I cast my gaze on her. Although not the prettiest nor the most exquisite - I had my attentions turned to a Yorkshire Terrier initially - the tiny biege Chi Hua Hua is the one I know I want.
Now, a day after our meeting, I am still contemplating if I should take on the responsibility of caring for her. Would I be able to love her as I did my darling Kiki? Would she find happiness with my family?
One thing I can be sure of: when I cradled her in my arms yesterday, I knew for certain that she needed love. Although far from being as spirited and fiesty as Kiki,
the dog, which I have christened Darling, have her own set of qualities which I know we would come to accept and love.
Ah, what's a girl to do?
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
♥ 11:24 AM
Passion
Was reading the Sunday edition of The New Paper and an article regarding sex addicts roused my attentions.
Let's see now, according to experts, there is a long list of behavioural anomalies which surface when one is inflicted with the incontrollable urge to fornicate or to derive sexual fulfillment. I vividly remember 2 of the numerous factors highlighted in this highly entertaining report.
1) You enjoy reading romantic novels
2) You indulge in romantic day-dreams and fantatises
I am, ahem, guilty on both counts. Does that make me a sex addict in the making? Methinks not.
Then again, is it not natural for girls and women alike to imagine themselves in a satisfying romantic situation? I am certain that it is not at all uncommon for females to revel in their worlds of fantasy. Just take for instance the popularity of romance novels featuring hunky, drool-worthy heroes and ethereal, beautiful damsels.
Rather than being potential sex addicts, I would think that Singaporean females are merely starved of romance.
I had an opportunity to enjoy a chat with Janise when we met up with the rest of the gang and although I would like to vehemently shake my head in disagreement, the fact is glaringly obvious - we are jut not being wooed and coddled the way we would like to be.
Forget the obscenely large bouquets of flowers. Toss out the designer chocolates. At the end of the day, it is really the small, often neglected gestures that count.
Gentlemen, hold the door open for the ladies; give them a hug or a gentle kiss without expecting sex; whip up a simple meal once in a while; tell us that you love us the way we are. It's the minute details which we care about.
Really, women are not that hard to figure out, once oyu get the hang of things.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Monday, June 20, 2005
♥ 11:31 AM
Car-slut
Went out with my family yesterday given that it was Fathers' Day. Lunch was settled at this little place off Killiney Road which serves Teochew Porridge, buffet style.
Well, guess you all know my penchant for over-indulging at buffets. *blushes* Had 3 plates of bee hoon with pig trotters, accompanied by copius amounts of braised peanuts, dried beancurd skin, curry vegetables, fried fish, soy sauce chicken, as well as fried long beans.
This was followed by a serving of tang yuan with ginger soup - mmm delicious! - some fruits and lots of delectable cake.
It's a wonder I was able to walk after the meal.
We headed for Takashimaya after lunch to view the cars they had on display, and I promptly developed a very strong attraction towards the Alfa Romeo GT. It didn't help that the car was in siren red, the colour I want for my next car.
Although my father said ok to me acquiring this car in the near future, the sensible side of me cried out to be heard. It's lusty cries for attention was so jarring that I had to acknowledge them. This led to my deciding that the Honda Integra is the more rational and sane choice.
So it has been decided. Madame Serene's next car shall be the Honda Integra.
PS: I call myself a car-slut as it has been barely 9 months since I bought my first car.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Thursday, June 16, 2005
♥ 12:45 PM
Tuesdays with Morrie
It's a must-read, said my sister, handing me a book with the plainest, most nondescript cover.
Huh. This cannot be as good as she claimed. Nevertheless, it was a boring day, I was bored. Hence began my 2-hr long journey with Morrie Schwartz.
Morrie's words touched me in ways which I never felt possible. It comforted me, and opened my eyes to things which I have often neglected. Issues that I have trivialised took on a life of their own and started to haunt me.
Rephrasing Morrie's inspirational words, you only begin learning about life when you learn and understand death. How true. How simple.
Death. Something which is inevitable. Something which people spend their whole life ignoring. Something which terrifies many. Yet, it is only through death that we can be reunited with God.
When we finally acknowledge how death can swoop down and consume us just like that, we start to treasure what we have. I am not referring to material goods. Rather, I believe that what matters to us most would be the people around us. We are creatures who need love. Love cannot be compensated by the abundance of money.
Morrie reminded me of why people hanker after material goods and social status. The big cars, luxurious clothes, expensive apartments; we want them so that people can notice us. We believe that this is how we can find acceptance and gain love. How wrong we have all been.
The book has put me in a rather contemplative mood. And by no means am I sorry about that. In fact, I am thankful that God has gifted me with this chance to reconcile with Him. Thank You Lord.
Well, if you have time for only one book this week, make it Tuesdays with Morrie.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, June 10, 2005
♥ 10:23 PM
My dream man
Let's see...what would be my definition of a dream man?
1) Christian - preferably Anglican
2) Physically attractive to me (need not be handsome mind you)
3) Loving husband, good father, fillial son
4) Compatible with me on all counts - educational level, financial status etc.
5) Errr....hmmm...
Oh well, I haven't found him yet but hey, I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled.
On another note, I am really into Queer Eye for the Straight Guy right now. Specifically, I am really into 2 of the really hot gay hosts who call themselves the Fab Five.
Call me sick, or disturbed, but hey, they are undeniably desirable.
Ladies, introducing Kyan Douglas and Jai Rodriguez. Enjoy!
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
♥ 10:21 PM
all the good ones are either taken or gay....see what i mean?
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
♥ 10:20 PM
another pic of kyan...hot hot hot
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
♥ 10:20 PM
yet another gay hottie...wow...me likey
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
♥ 10:19 PM
ah...jai...need i say more?
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
♥ 6:13 PM
Weariness
I am tired. 'Nuff said.
Try walking long long long distances, across muddy fields in 3-inch heels. Need I say more? The pains ladies put themselves through in order to look good never ceases to amaze me.
Apart from my aching legs, I feel strangely detached from my surroundings. Maybe it's due to Kiki's departure, maybe not.
I do not know anymore.
I have misplaced my motivation to have fun, to date, to do the things people my age enjoy. What the heck.
To aggravate the whole situation, having spent close to 1000 bucks on Kiki's cremation and medical bills means that I cannot afford to indulge in some sorely needed retail therapy despite the GSS (Great S'pore Sale).
Life sucks.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Monday, June 06, 2005
♥ 8:10 PM
In loving memory
On the 3rd of June 2005, Friday, you left us peacefully. You are so beautifully perfect, even in death.
As I gazed at your sleeping form, your final resting position, I could not help but weep for death seems so permanent at that instant. Never again will I have the chance to stroke your soft, cuddly form. Never again will I be able to tease you and play with you.
You left behind a loving family who will always love you and miss you. A part of our hearts will belong to you for all time. You are a God-send; an angel who came into our lives to inject that little bit of magic which we desperately needed and eagerly sought.
Your departure left us devastated but more united than ever. You truly are the miracle which we have been searching for. Thank you so much.
It is now Monday, the 6th of June. I woke up early this morning, hoping to find that upon rousing, I would be able to see your face again. Alas, it was not to be.
Then I spotted it. A lovely grey moth with black spots resting on the wall. Mummy was convinced that this is you, coming back to greet us. She cried upon hearing about the moth. Mummy did love you so very much. For the longest time, I was tempted to believe her. Is it really you? Have you come back to visit us?
If it is, then please know that we will be fine. Promise us that till the time when we would meet again, you will take good care of yourself. Do not worry, we will meet again sooner than expected. Be the good girl that we know is in you somewhere.
You have brought an inordinate amount of joy into our family, and you will never leave our hearts.
We love you very much. Rest in peace our darling baby girl.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Friday, June 03, 2005
♥ 9:59 PM
KiKi
July 2001 - 3rd June 2005
Today, I lost something dear to me. Something so precious. I lost a part of my family.
When you came into our lives three and a half years ago, you brought not only a whole new set of responsibilities but also joy which we had never known.
Intelligent, beautiful and remarkably obedient, you were my source of comfort. You were the baby of the family. You were and will always be loved.
You were not only a pet, but a sister to me.
Although images of your last moments have haunted me to no end, I choose to remember you as how you deserve to be remembered: a little being with so much life and so much spirit.
To the very end, you were a fighter. Thank you for the memories you have brought to this family.
Although you have gone on to a better place, know that you were never just a pet. You were so much more than that.
We all love you. Always have, always will.
If I could take back all the harsh words I've thrown at you, I would. If I could hold you in my arms and speak to you again, I would give the world for it.
You will be dearly missed by all of us. Wherever you are, do not be scared; take good care of yourself, be a good girl, and we will all meet again soon.
Rest in peace my Kiki.
I love you so.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*