Friday, July 25, 2008
♥ 2:07 PM
I don't really know...How to feel, or what to feel.
A tumult of feelings stir within me, and the roller-coaster ride of emotional ups and downs is just getting so tiresome.
If only things could be clearer.
If only some things can be talked about in the open.
If only I hadn't detected some sort of painful, vicious cycle threatening to repeat itself all over again.
I guess some things just cannot be brushed surreptitiously under the carpet that easily.
I'm happy, yet desolate all at the same time; I'm almost psychotically schizophrenic.
It's strange, but sadly true.
Maybe, just maybe, it's more of a naught than of a positive certainty.
Just guessing makes me sick.
Oh Lord, please let sanity be restored to me.
Went for yet another interview this morning, and thank God I wasn't a bit nervous - I was just really cold thanks to the most enthusiastic central air-conditioning system.
Wrote a couple of essays, cracked a couple of jokes, and I was outta there in 2 hours.
Didn't manage to meet Jon for lunch, but that can be re-scheduled. Can't wait for a catch-up session with one of the most loyal friends the Lord has blessed me with =)
I'm starting work on Monday, where new people will have to be met, and new friendships formed. Can't say I'm ecstatic, but ca'n't say I''m dreading it either.
So if I'm starting work on Monday, then what's all this talk about an interview this morning?
Well, that's another story for another time.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Thursday, July 17, 2008
♥ 9:27 AM
So here's where we areNew beginnings are always nice.
You leave an old chapter closed, and embark on a novel one.
You take flight, spread your wings, and soar out of that comfort zone.
You take the Lord's warm hand, and allow Him to take the lead.
I don't know where all this is headed, but I know that it is His best for me =)
So what's in store, you ask?
Well I commence my new job the week after next, as sorta an events planner if you would like to call it so; never expected me to take on a role like that did you? =P
My DEW sessions begin tonight, and for the very first time, my parents will be receiving ministry too.
Then there's that weekend cell trip to KL which has Kenneth all excited - he really is still a little child inside; I'm prepared to shop myself crazy over there.
On top of that, my folks came back to the Lord after a good 17 years, so there will be lotsa praying and guiding them into cell-group and the like.
Praise the Lord for all His great mercies!
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
♥ 4:26 PM
Catch-23There's something beautiful about waking up before 5 to spend some time with the Lord every morning ever since I started work.
Somehow, the peace, the quiet, and the darkness that enhances the whole experience - you can't even hear the musical chirp of the still-slumbering birds at this hour.
Amazing how the Lord has programmed my body to respond and to rouse naturally even before my alarm clock goes off. Simply astounding.
Met with an emotionally disturbed student today, and it got to me; there was nothing I can do to help her, and I was reluctant to report her for her less-than-polite behaviour of shouting at me and glaring me down subsequently.
It's only now that I realise what God means by loving others unconditionally.
When someone abuses you, you love him.
When someone mocks you, you love him.
When someone rejects you, you love him.
And when someone takes your life, you love him all the same.
This is the kind of love which our Father has for us, and the degree of love that we have to shower upon others.
Right now, I am far from meeting the mark.
And it kinda sucks. Really.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
♥ 4:00 PM
MayhemNot sure why I titled this post as such.
Maybe it's due to the piles and piles of work that is now sitting on my table, waiting to be unleashed upon unsuspecting students.
Or maybe it's simply because I am just that little bit confused. Period.
Scolded a class today and felt really horrible later on. It's not that they didn't deserve the reprimand, but I could have approached it from another direction.
It's really good to know that Jon Choy's headed for Rhema, where I'm sure he'll learn that much more about the awesome God we love and serve.
Was really really surprised to hear that Mr Sunshine AKA Clement will be going for Hillsong Conference (again!) with Pastor Reuben.
Miss them all so very very much.
I've 2 weeks more to finalise my career decision, and I'm nowhere near to making up my oh-so-fickle mind.
Oh the simple-minded bliss of being an innocent, sheltered student.
So I've been partially DEW-ed - there's still the multiple counselling sessions to go - and am 2 weeks away from completing my SP course.
That's something I'm really looking forward to, given that I never imagined myself being able to complete the assignments given, much less the entire course.
Without the Father by my side, without the Spirit as my guide, and without Christ's strength, I would have long given up and thrown in the towel.
2 weeks more to go.
And I mean it in more ways than 1.
*~and you'll never know till you get there~*
